HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE?

1.         How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

            Ten!  One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

2.         How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

            Change???

3.         How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

            One, but for the message of light to continue burning, send money.

4.         How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

            Only one.  Any more might result in too much cooperation!

5.         How many liberal Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

            At least ten.  They need to hold a debate on whether or not the bulb actually exists.  If they can agree on the existence of the bulb, they may not change it so as not to alienate those who might use other forms of light.

6.         How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

            None.  Catholics use candles.

7.         How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

            In lieu of light bulb changing, the following statement is issued:  "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of, or against the need for a light bulb.  However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that's fine.  You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service in which we explore a number of light bulb traditions, including, but not limited to, incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

8.         How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

            Define light bulb?